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Nights of Heavy Dreaming

by World of Truckdrivers

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1.
We’ve been smitten Since we were embryos Two quarters in the payphone And away we go It was like fucking a moment Vasoline on her lips It was an act of creation My nostrils flared It was like fucking a moment The smell of asphalt It was a spell for protection Wet with blood clot We’ve been smitten Since we were embryos Two quarters in the payphone And away we go Away we go It was like fucking a flame Melting black leather It was an act of creation Birth of electric It was like fucking a flame Lapping up tree sap It was a spell for protection Time warped in space It was like fucking a flame It was like fucking a flame We’ve been smitten Since we were embryos Two quarters in the payphone And away we go Looping towards infinity Away we go
2.
Oh, bless our alien souls Living as glass-based lifeforms Pulled from the atmosphere Element combinations That we can barely breathe Oh, bless our alien souls Beautiful skin is ruined My soft touch has been thwarted A distance that’s been inflicted Our space has been restricted Oh, bless our alien souls Oh, bless our alien souls Living as glass-based lifeforms protect our alien souls Living as glass-based lifeforms Living as glass-based lifeforms At home in the sulfuric abscesses Transplants subterrestrial Forced to accept this unnatural cadence Must we hold ourselves in abeyance I’ll drop into any burning hole of hell To be with you I’ll boil Until i turn golden Until i turn golden I’ll drop into any burning hole of hell To be with you To be with you Even if I can’t touch you I will wait until my hands heal I will wait forever if I have to If I have to
3.
We moved through a series of genres and unstable architectures We could see every breath in a room that stays cold with two bodies in it We could only be each other’s moon in a room that stays cold with two bodies in it A situation so easy to confuse in a room that stays cold with two bodies in it We fought against the night With limerence as a theme We fought against the night The antagonist of every dream But you still went walking into mine Touched your hand to mine Guided me into a world of light I feel you in the sun’s radiation I see you in the moon’s illumination Two bodies giving off steam Outside of this incepted dream We fought against the night With limerence as a theme We fought against the night The antagonist of every dream And those dreams toppled quickly Collapsing into old west etiquette We fought against the night With limerence as a theme We fought against the night The antagonist of every dream Sometimes we have to keep our secrets from ourselves Sometimes we have to keep our dreams from ourselves
4.
I come from a long line Of North Sea misanthropy That is is my father’s side The other half brings me Cardiomegaly From the Mediterranean Sea My circulation broken From my mother’s side Let the body chasten the brain It’s the only way to survive All these little deaths All these little deaths All these little deaths As we hold our breath I think I’m ready to retire Move into the hospice building So my lungs won’t have to expire Let a machine do the breathing All these little deaths As we hold our breath All these little deaths As we hold our breath The blue silences are killing me The blue silences - I don’t want to breathe All these little deaths As we hold our breath All these little deaths As we hold our breath I made myself a private playlist to privately devastate myself It’s called Fucking to Fucking to Floodland
5.
The aftermath an avalanche Residuals Forced tourism I’m a tourist In the life I want to live I’m a wannabe dilettante A boot-kissing plebe I’ve disabused myself Of every muse on the shelf I want to fuck and get fucked Have my throat cut Leave my blossoms sunk And unopened Leave my blossoms sunk And unopened The aftermath an avalanche The hindsight and experience I have not cured myself of this disease I want to fuck and get fucked Have my throat cut Leave my blossoms sunk And unopened The aftermath an avalanche Scented But not senseless I’m a tourist In the life I want to live You get me You get to have me You get me You get to have me Do you want me? Do want to fuck me? Do you want to Do you want to Pour petrol on my flowers? They’re in full bloom They’re in full bloom I want to fuck and get fucked Have my throat cut Leave my blossoms sunk And unopened I want to fuck and get fucked Have my throat cut Leave my blossoms sunk And unopened I want to fuck and get fucked
6.
I keep waiting for That technicolor moment But there’s a hanged man Swinging from a prop tree And I can’t unsee it I keep waiting for That technicolor moment But there’s a hanged man Swinging from a prop tree And I can’t unsee it I can’t unsee it I can’t unsee it And now it’s on to the dying season Full of the deaths we try to reject When we gave each other one song To survive the separation To survive the separation To survive the separation The pull into doom The pull into doom Is all that’s left The pull into doom The pull into doom Is all that’s left
7.
How can an absence be so heavy When there’s nothing in my lungs These are the deaths we try to reject The dying season taking full effect Deflated defeated Deflated defeated How can an absence be so heavy When erasure threads this hole These are the deaths we try to resist Bind my ankles and my wrists Deflated defeated Grounded as a shadow The night brings no relief Deflated defeated Grounded as a shadow The night brings no relief How can an absence be so heavy When there’s nothing in my lungs There’s nothing There’s nothing There’s nothing in my lungs Deflated defeated Grounded as a shadow The night brings no relief Deflated defeated When the dreams so are so heavy The night brings no relief
8.
Off weekends turn into blighted weeks The bottle is replaced with increased frequency Nights of heavy dreaming, demon seeding Fingers mashed into the machinery The machinery The moon is barely a sliver One of a million little splinters A spike, a spike, I have splintered I have splintered Stop taking my passion Stop cutting my life Stop taking my passion Stop cutting my lifeline Cutting my lifeline The dreams get heavy They stick to me Seized by panic and dread I wake up dead Flattened by the suffocating shadow I wake up dead I wake up dead Stop taking my passion Stop cutting my life Stop taking my passion Stop cutting my lifeline Cutting my lifeline My lifeline Flattened by this suffocating shadow Forced into my throat I wake up dead My passion has been drained I wake up dead Stop taking my passion Stop cutting my life Stop draining my passion Stop cutting my lifeline It feels like a loss It feels like I lost It feels like a loss It feels like I lost
9.
We deserve to be humans We deserve to be humans We deserve to be humans We deserve to be humans The body gets heavy The body gets heavy The body gets heavy The body gets heavy It is punishment enough To carry this body It is punishment enough It is punishment enough It is punishment enough It is punishment enough It would make it so easy If someone could just inhabit me I try to resist I try to resist me I try to resist I try to resist me I try to resist I try to resist me I try to resist I try to resist me But I don’t remember Any other way I don’t remember Any other way
10.
When the inevitable Feels cinematic and tragic I gave you my heart, an emerald You put purple fire in an amethyst Lysosomes lethargic Cell walls - circles or brick? The safety, the pain erasure Your touch voids the toxins Is it so wrong to be an addict To the thing that takes your pain away? Is it so wrong to be an addict To want this person always to stay? Stay Stay Or does It just shift the pain? Does it paint in the stains? Stay Stay Is it so wrong to be an addict To the thing that takes your pain away? Is it so wrong to be an addict To want this person always to stay? I’m a small lonely piece Do you notice when I’m sadder than you? I’m a small lonely piece It scares me how much I love you Does it scare you? Does it scare you too? Your sweet dreams Give a release To lift the burden So I can sleep Stay

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released March 1, 2024

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